It’s that time of year.
The end of the year is full hustle and bushel with the end of year traditions.
With one of those traditions being making “New Year’s Resolutions.”
How many years have you made the same New Year’s Resolutions. Over and Over. And it seems like every year you try so to “Make This Year, the YEAR!!” and then about 3 weeks in if you are lucky you fall right back into the old habits.
Have you ever felt like you are caught in quicksand? Have you ever felt like no matter how hard you try, you still feel like you are taking one step forward and two steps back?
This time of year it is best to take some time off.
Well, then you are in the right place.
You work, struggle, and try to do everything possible to move on to a higher level of well-being, but it seems like the harder you work, the fast you go down into the quicksand pit.
(which I totally thought would be a real-life bigger problem than it really appears to be.)
It may be time to take a step back and adjust your focus.
Switch your focus from what seems important at the moment, and start focusing on what is really important.
It may be time to go for a walk,
or take a shower, and lie on your bed with the towel wrapped around your body for an hour, starting at the ceiling
play with your kids,
or stand in front of your fridge looking at the food you will never eat.
Sometimes the best way to really get unstuck is just to let go, to relax, and look at your life from a different angle. Take some time for yourself, and really I know it is hard, but mediation and allowing your mind to wander is a really good way to get unstuck.
This helps with hyper-focusing on everything we think we should be doing, and all the projects have to be done now. So everything has to be perfect right now.
However, what frequently happens is that you become so over-focused on what needs to be done, and it needs to be perfect that you wind up feeling totally overwhelmed and doing nothing.
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Real self-care for people with neurodivergent brain.
And then once again, taking two more steps backward.
You can lose the ability – or even desire – to see your dreams and goals come true. Instead, you start to feel like they will never come to pass.
One of the most important things I learned too late in life was instead of just going and going trying to do everything at once, give myself permission to take breaks; scheduling break times was a good thing.
Just the knowledge that when I started to do something, with writing or starting a home project, or spending time with kids, there would be an end, it was OK for me to take a break. I learned there was nothing wrong with driving into a parking lot and sitting in my car for a while, just staring out the window.
As I mentioned earlier, one possible solution to change our focus from everything that needs to be done right now, and everything has to be perfect, is to stop, and meditate for just 5 minutes helps you stop falling further into the quicksand.
This doesn’t require any major change in the things you do every day. It may eventually lead to that, but it’s not a critical part of getting out of the quicksand.
If you were looking for 10 steps to get unstuck, I am sorry, but you’re not going to find it, here, that is because really sometimes the best thing you can do for yourself is to give yourself permission to let go and do some real self-care, to clear your mind.
Tension is who you think you should be. Relaxation is who you are.”
It is OK to take a break; this leads us back to the original suggestion. If you are caught in the quicksand, take a few minutes to disconnect – you will be better off, healthier, and more joyful because lying on your bed for an hour is really sometimes the best thing you can do to help you move forward.
Do you see what can happen here? When you change your focus from I have to get everything done right now to it is more than OK to take a break– the things you do every day – start taking on a new meaning. You are now a dreamer. Your life honestly is meaningful.
So today and every day, schedule time for a break.
This will help so much in helping you move forward.